you are allowed to terminate toxic relationships
you are allowed to walk away from people who hurt you
you are allowed to be angry and selfish and unforgiving
you don’t owe anyone an explanation for taking care of yourself
stop looking backwards. just keep moving forward. things will fall into their place. stop looking backwards. just keep moving forward. things will fall into their place. stop looking backwards. just keep moving forward. things will fall into their place. stop looking backwards. just keep moving forward. things will fall into their place. stop looking backwards. just keep moving forward. things will fall into their place. stop looking backwards. just keep moving forward. things will fall into their place. stop looking backwards. just keep moving forward. things will fall into their place. stop looking backwards. just keep moving forward. things will fall into their place. stop looking backwards. just keep moving forward. things will fall into their place. stop looking backwards. just keep moving forward. things will fall into their place.
I’m like one of those items that comes in a really awesome package. You read the box and shit and everything sounds great and exactly like what you need. Then when you get it home and open it up you are in awe because upon viewing the contents you are wondering ‘What the fuck did I just buy?!?’
Meredith Grey (via thatkindofwoman)
In the past two + years that I’ve known her and told her I was coming down with a cold, she would be at my place right after she got off of work to bring me some orange juice, or a card, or some soup, or all three. That’s how I knew she cared. That even though our situation is…a situation, she would manage to let me know that I mattered by doing that, even if she could only stay for 10 minutes before rushing home. When I told her yesterday, I just got an, “awww, poor baby. Call me when you get off of work.”
And when I called her when I got off of work, she didn’t answer or call me back.
And it’s not that I think that by her not answering/calling me back or bringing me some soup and juice means she doesn’t care about me anymore. I just think it means I’m no longer special/worth it to her.
I guess that’s just as bad though.
I feel like I keep taking in all this shit that people drop on me. For so long I’ve constantly had to just shake it off or look past the things that people say or do to me. My mom always told me, when I was younger, that when people bullied me, it was because they saw something special about me that they wanted for themselves, that they were jealous and everyday that I came home crying from something someone yelled out to me in the hallways or whispered behind me in a classroom, she would tell me something good about me as a person, something that was worth smiling about. I’ve always had to have faith that it would be taken care of so I never really stood up for myself. I never said anything in retaliation to all the things that those girls would say to me because I’ve just always felt better than that/them, like it wasn’t worth my time/energy. In fact, the only year that I wasn’t bullied was my senior year in high school but it resumed again my second year in art school when I moved into these new dorms. I’m at a point in my life now where I don’t know if all those years of never saying anything or doing anything was worth it. Did it make me weaker as a person? Am I too much of a believer in karma? Am I too soft to fight my own battles? Is turning my back on situations where I’m “confronted” only making it easier for them to continue verbally attacking me and treating me as if I’m somehow less than them? All these years of being quiet, looking the other way, were they worth it?
I don’t know, man.
If you’re going downtown, take me with you
I don’t care if I’m gonna get up, I’ll just admit it
I only get up for you if I’m going to get up
I’ve been sick-ish for like, the past week. When I got back from North Carolina for Thanksgiving, I had this stomach bug for about two days and now yesterday, I realized I’m coming down with a cold and so I’ve been medicating myself since last night. It’s terrible. I haven’t really been able to eat/enjoy my food because it doesn’t taste the same, which only makes me want to eat once a day because I’m so disappointed about how my meal tasted. I was doing so good this year. I honestly thought I would be able to survive 2013 without getting a cold.
Honestly, I live my life by the policy of trying to treat others how I would want to be treated. I try to be as positive as possible in terrible situations because the rain don’t last forever and if I’m struggling now, I’ll be looking back it and smiling later on. I uplift people when I know they need it. If I can help you, I do. If you need me, I’m around. If I love you, I tell you everyday if I can. If you need me to spot you $20 and I have it to give, it’s yours and you pay me back when you can…and if you can’t, then you can’t. I try to pull my own weight in work situations so nobody can say that I’m a terrible employee or that I’m lazy. I try to tell the truth because I’m just a terrible fucking liar and that’s one of my best traits. If someone hurts my feelings, if someone goes out of their way to hurt me or disrespect me, I don’t retaliate. I walk away from them and the situation all together and leave it for the universe to handle because that’s not my battle and they will definitely get what they deserve because the universe doesn’t like ugly. The universe always has a way of having things work out in your favor when you least expect it, when you can let things go that are out of your control, when you can just do you the best way you know how. You’re taken care of. At the end of the day, you’re taken care of. You just have to feel secure in that.
Once you get this, you have to say 5 nice things about yourself and send to ten of your favorite followers! Love thyself. :)
Oh man, okay. Yeah. Five things.
I only remember these three numbers by heart:
- My mom’s cell phone number.
- The number to my home in North Carolina.
- And my first girlfriend/ex girlfriend’s cell phone number.
So if anything happened to me in Atlanta and I didn’t have my contacts list or my phone died and I had to borrow someone else’s, I would probably call my ex girlfriend. This needs to change somehow.
Me in downtown Atlanta.
December 1st, 2013 @ 3:41pm
You are missing to me and I am missing much
Your sleepy panda eyes, those dangerous thighs, your dirty touch
You are the wildest one, but you’re the one that I want
I’m making eyes at you, that’s all I ever do
WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT. I clearly only attract/like women who are already taken by other women.
I’m sure someone who is good at analyzing things like this will tell me that subconsciously, I don’t really want someone who can be mine 100%. That I like my women a little unattached so I can feel free at the same time since commitment kind of puts me off a little and so being into someone who is isn’t available to commit to me physically, mentally, and emotionally due to already having an established relationship sounds more like my thing and why I attract it more often than not.